The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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