She's JV to your varsity
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
