yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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