Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
