He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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