I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
