I cannot find my penis.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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