he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is Oprah even human
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
