I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And then he peed in my hair
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