Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
