wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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