If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
