new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We need to get me chipped asap
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
