That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
