ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
