i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
