Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
