I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
