Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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