I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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