Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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