he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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