He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
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