just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
