like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
