my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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