his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
