He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
