Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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