Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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