So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
