singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
