Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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