ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
