from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
