Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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