i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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