i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
