omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
BRING THE BAGELS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
