I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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