I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
