She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
