Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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