Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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