I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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