bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
