You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
