what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
