Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
