I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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